In the beginning, Yoni and the tummy area was soft, bubbly, fluffy, was it made of cotton candy?

She was innocent and her desire was to become firm, slippery and graspable. This was my world.

My body was saying yes to me. But there was a world around me, my mom, my dad, my friends and neighbors, and they were saying no.

Everything had to happen in secret, under the covers, in the bath, in my imagination. Secretly, but in me.

Yoni was curious and eager, looking forward to finger play and water. Secrets and prohibitions made the games an innocent, exciting pastime.

First the six-year-old boy’s eyes saw her, later the boy’s fingers touched her. Everything was secret, a mixture of shame and excitement and curiosity and a big YES all over.

An old, disgusting tongue began to conquer the mouth that belonged to the body of a curious Yoni of about nine years old. Her whole body was screaming NO, only her mouth was silent. Panic, fear and shame seized her body and mind. There was no one around trustworthy enough, no quiet ears, no understanding souls, no open hearts. Therefore, the mouth never spoke of the disgusting experience. Even after a few years she began to think that it was nothing, that nothing had actually happened.

The whole fifteen-year-old body was curious about all adult things. The tongue tasted of alcohol, the body quivered with excitement at the slithers, the mouth smiled at boys and older men alike, the eyes learned to flirt.

The fingers played with other hands, the tongue tasted the mouth, the whole body accepted the touches of equally old hands and bodies. My whole world was saying YES and quivering with eagerness.